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Fifth news item

"You've Got to Sleep With Your Mum and Dad" is now available on Amazon. Childhood angst, marathon swimming, international exploitation and the threat of impending pinniped intimacy. on 2014-08-13
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Fourth news item

Have a look at my page on Amazon. Still plenty of summer left for challenging literature. on 2014-08-13
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Third news item

Check out my Amazon Kindle page. 'The Baby Who Killed People for Money' is now available. An utterly charming child with a unique and lucrative skill. A father with no defence against his daughter's impulses. Would you take your little girl around Europe for a spot of murder tourism? Of course you would. on 2014-06-30
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Second news item

My story on the Tate gallery website on 2013-11-11
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First news item

A Thousand Natural Shocks An anthology that includes two of my stories. Available now at Amazon. on 2013-11-11
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Posted May 2, 2014
  Posted by in Uncategorized

In the 2000s, there was a brief craze of unhygienic places having footbaths of water in which you could put your reeking feet in order to have fish nibble at them. This seemed to me like 1. fish abuse, and 2. a good way to catch foot diseases.

fishkazdagi

When I went to the beautiful Kazda?? National Park in the mountains above the Aegean coast of Turkey, I found that the fish were willing to do this pedicure treatment in the wild. Normally, fish scatter and disappear when you swim in their river. However, just dipping your feet in the river in the picture above would bring a swarm of tiny fish to you. They would chew on your feet if they could get to them. They would also nibble at any part that you put in. A bit off-putting at first, but they never seemed to get hurt by limbs flailing about when I was swimming. Eventually, I just got used to being surrounded by a cloud of orally familiar fish.

There is a place near Sivas in Turkey that claims to use temperature-resistant fish for treating psoriasis. Go for it.

Now, the crabs. The east coast of Yorke Peninsula in South Australia has crystal waters and a high tidal range. If you go for a walk on Sultana Point near Edithburgh at low tide, there is a fascinating array of marine life to see. My 2-year-old daughter and I were eating razorfish (Pinna bicolor). This necessitated cracking open sharp shells and doing a lot of cleaning of stuff inside. After a bit of work, we would get an edible morsel that she would eagerly chew before demanding more. The detritus would attract all sorts of animals, including some small mud crabs.

crab

When the supply of razorfish guts ran out, the crabs would nibble our feet. They were quite insistent with some bits of loose skin but never went as far as causing pain. I don’t know whether the concept of crab pedicures would take off like the fish ones did. There’s a business idea for you.

I suppose these foot-loving creatures would correctly be called pedophiles. Not paedophiles.

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Posted February 3, 2014
  Posted by in Uncategorized

This was in the Kaškar Mountains. One of the blokes I was climbing with was a mad Israeli who took every opportunity to leap off, dangle from or squeeze into anything that shouldn’t have been touched.

ice-cave-01

We saw this. Ilan dug his elbow into my ribs and said ‘Come on’. We plunged into the stream and rock-hopped into darkness.

ice-cave-02

It looked like this inside the entrance. The ceiling was made up of packed snow which had consolidated into a frozen mass over the months of winter. It was now July and the ice was melting. It had dug this tunnel out of the ice and now the roof was melting. It showed this by occasionally dropping an ice boulder from overhead. This explained the strange structure of the roof of the cave.

We had torches so we went on until we couldn’t any more. When we walked back, ice boulders seemed to drop randomly around us. We got wet but not killed. We carried on up the valley, which ended up with a glacier nestling in a col near the summit.

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Posted February 3, 2014
  Posted by in Uncategorized

In the 2000s, there was a brief craze of unhygienic places having footbaths of water in which you could put your reeking feet in order to have fish nibble at them. This seemed to me like 1, fish abuse and 2. a good way to catch foot diseases.

fishkazdagi

When I went to the beautiful Kazda?? National Park in the mountains above the Aegean coast of Turkey, I found that the fish were willing to do this pedicure treatment in the wild. Normally, fish scatter and disappear when you swim in their river. However, just dipping your feet in the river in the picture above would bring a swarm of tiny fish to you. They would chew on your feet if they could get to them. They would also nibble at any part that you put in. A bit off-putting at first, but they never seemed to get hurt by limbs flailing about when I was swimming. Eventually, I just got used to being surrounded by a cloud of orally familiar fish.

There is a place near Sivas in Turkey that claims to use temperature-resistant fish for treating psoriasis. Go for it.

Now, the crabs. The east coast of Yorke Peninsula in South Australia has crystal waters and a high tidal range. If you go for a walk on Sultana Point near Edithburgh at low tide, there is a fascinating array of marine life to see. My 2-year-old daughter and I were eating razorfish (Pinna bicolor). This necessitated cracking open sharp shells and doing a lot of cleaning of stuff inside. After a bit of work, we would get an edible morsel that she would eagerly chew before demanding more. The detritus would attract all sorts of animals, including some small mud crabs.

crab

When the supply of razorfish guts ran out, the crabs would nibble our feet. They were quite insistent with some bits of loose skin but never went as far as causing pain. I don’t know whether the concept of crab pedicures would take off like the fish ones did. There’s a business idea for you.

I suppose these foot-loving creatures would correctly be called pedophiles. Not paedophiles.

Share This Post

Bookmark and Share Bookmark   Print This Post Print This Post    


 
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