News

Fifth news item

"You've Got to Sleep With Your Mum and Dad" is now available on Amazon. Childhood angst, marathon swimming, international exploitation and the threat of impending pinniped intimacy. on 2014-08-13
Read more »

Fourth news item

Have a look at my page on Amazon. Still plenty of summer left for challenging literature. on 2014-08-13
Read more »

Third news item

Check out my Amazon Kindle page. 'The Baby Who Killed People for Money' is now available. An utterly charming child with a unique and lucrative skill. A father with no defence against his daughter's impulses. Would you take your little girl around Europe for a spot of murder tourism? Of course you would. on 2014-06-30
Read more »

Second news item

My story on the Tate gallery website on 2013-11-11
Read more »

First news item

A Thousand Natural Shocks An anthology that includes two of my stories. Available now at Amazon. on 2013-11-11
Read more »
February 2014
M T W T F S S
« Jan   Mar »
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
2425262728  

Archive for February 4th, 2014

Posted February 4, 2014
  Posted by in Uncategorized

Not intentionally.

I was driving back from Adelaide to the mallee with the rising sun in my eyes when a roo leaped out from the side of the road, giving me no chance at all of missing it. It wasn’t dead at that stage. My friend and I got out of the car and watched the roo in pain until I did the right thing, picked up a big tree branch and hit it on the head until it died. This was surprisingly difficult.

(At this stage, I must draw attention to the attitude of passers-by when you do the decent thing and perform a mercy killing on an obviously suffering animal. I was once walking along a street in Vancouver when a car hit a squirrel. A crowd gathered and watched the creature writhing in dreadful agony, emitting empathic cries of ‘ooohhhh,’ and ‘Oh my God.’ I killed the squirrel quickly with a boot. People veered away from me as if I were Jimmy Savile. The word ‘cruel’ was mentioned repeatedly.)

There weren’t any passers-by with the kangaroo incident. My mate looked at me and said, ‘Pity to waste it.’ He happened to have a great big knife in my car. He skinned the roo and I cut its tail and back legs off. We dragged the macabre remains some distance into the bush, stuck the salvaged bits in the car and drove home.

The kangaroo ended up as a rug, a roo tail soup and enough steaks to fuel a decent barbecue.

Share This Post

Bookmark and Share Bookmark   Print This Post Print This Post    


Posted February 4, 2014
  Posted by in Uncategorized

We were staying at a beach house on the northern shore of Anahola Bay where there is a big reef about 100 metres off shore. The house was generously supplied with toys to play about with in the sea. There was a double surf kayak. I took it out to the reef and spent most of my time in the sea trying to put the kayak the right way up. Then I tried to make it through the gap where (if you are any good with a surf kayak) you can get from the sea into the mouth of the Anahola Stream when the tide gets higher than the sand bank that normally covers it. Some experts on the beach watched me roll over repeatedly and eventually gouge out a deep channel into the river mouth using no tools other than my head.

hawaii5-0011

Share This Post

Bookmark and Share Bookmark   Print This Post Print This Post    


 
Powered by Wordpress
Website design by Pedalo Limited